Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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