He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
