i don't like sucking hair
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
