shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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