He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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