is your mom at the bar?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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