I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
