He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
