P.S. I can't hear my feet
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
