Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I love you. Go after that dick
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
