Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
