What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
