Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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