They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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