It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
