it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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