Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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