Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
