I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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