I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
