So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
