How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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