Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am midnight drunk by noon
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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