Are we in a gay sports bar?
...so i touched it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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