After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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