idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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