I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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