oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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