It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize
