your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
