The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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