you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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