She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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