i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently the secret to your success is patron
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
