Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
