Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
