My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
