i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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