I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
