i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
