I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
