I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
