Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
