I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Blood and glitter go together right?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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