You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
