She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
