They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
