I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
