i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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