there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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